


Identity is arbitrary

by orphan_account



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Freeform, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Game Saihara Shuichi, Rating May Change, What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-07-29 15:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16267148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Saihara fell from the sky.Or more specifically, from the floorboards laced above the room.--The AU where Saihara loses his identity as the ultimate detective, reverting back to his previous self while the killing game is still very much on. (Starts at the third chapter.)





	1. Premise to demise

Harukawa would have never imagined ever pairing up with Ouma. The boy was just insufferable to say the least, she couldn't stand children and Ouma was a boy with the mentality of a 5 year old. Essentially, pairing up with Ouma was a hell she didn't want to touch.

She groaned inwardly at the incessant chattering of the other. As she recalled a simple request from Saihara, one hopefully bearing no ill-will, she once again willed herself to the task at hand.

_"Please Harukawa-san, it might be too much to ask but can you please chase after Ouma just so he... doesn't mess with the scene of the crime?"_

_"Do you want to die?"_

_"I-I'm sorry for asking this of you... B-but it'll hinder the investigation otherwise."_

It was sound logic, which perhaps caused Harukawa to forget that Ouma was indeed terrible to work with in all regards.

"Heyyyy, are you even listening to me Harukawa-chan? You should live up to your title _'Ultimate Child caregiver'."_

"Shut it. I don't want to do this anymore than the person on the next block. If you so as much utter a single word after my warnings I will personally kill you."

"You must have dosing off when Monokuma was explaining the rules! Do I _have_ to explain it to you again? Kill me and you die!" Ouma chirped, his voice preserving the innocence of a young child but the content of the words destroying any semblance of morality in it's path. Harukawa felt a headache crawl up her neck. There was only so much she could deal with and _this_ definitely maxed out that agenda.

"If you didn't have to threaten to mess things up then I wouldn't even need to follow you."

"But it was a lie!" Ouma pouted.

"Nonetheless." She shot back.

"My beloved Saihara-chan is just waaaay too gullible," Ouma justified to some extent. "Speaking of which, where do you think he is right now?"

A part of Harukawa seriously did not want to answer his questions. But based off common human courtesy she still replied, "I guess he would be in this area. We only went one floor down maybe he is still upstairs?" Clutching the stubborn door handle, pushing down on it with reasonable force, "why do you ask? _It's not like he'll fall from the sky or anything_."

And as she heard a click and as the door swung open, she could not have been more wrong.

_Saihara fell from the sky._

Or more specifically, from the floorboards laced above the room.

She would have groaned and laughed the situation off if Saihara had just gotten up and 'walked it off' or something. But he didn't. In fact, he didn't even get up or even give acknowledgement that he was remotely alright.

Harukawa saw Ouma run off, but she didn't even stop him or think about it. She hardly had any time to process it all, she stood frozen there for a solid few seconds before finally reacting. She turned the body around only to see a steady stream of blood flow down Saihara's forehead. Her brain subconsciously already analyzing the wound, it was a display of her talents whether she wanted it or not. But in this situation, she couldn't have been more grateful she was the one to discover Saihara,  _direct impact to the prefrontal cortex, excessive bleeding. Needs medical attention. Fast._

Saihara was relatively light for his height. Nonetheless, with the extra weight, the impact would inevitably be harder and larger.

"I need to get help." Harukawa veins pumped with adrenaline, cursing beneath her breath to nobody in particular, she tried to stand up before Saihara grabbed her wrist.

Saihara began to mouth something, a heaved breath and strained voice slowly flowed out in a broken sentence, laced with pain. Harukawa would have silenced the boy if he didn't push himself so hard. It seemed too important and silencing him would have only made his delivery that much harder. She held her hair in her hands as she crouched lower to hear what Saihara had to so desperately say.

"K-kille... firs...t, second... s-same..."

_The first and second killer was one in the same._

She would have loved to strangle out an explanation for the other. But, almost as if there was a timing to it all, Ouma slid back into the room holding out a very angry Monokuma, with outstretched hands. While Monokuma himself was shouting threats left and right at Ouma.

"Shut up and just _fix_ him!" Ouma slammed the short bear onto the ground, the sound reverberating through the room. Surprisingly shutting up the formerly angry robot. Monokuma seemed... shocked, almost as if he wasn't remotely prepared for this.

_Could a robot even feel shock?_

"It's no fun if someone dies of pure coincidence! Where is the entertainment in that?" Ouma continued in between gasps for oxygen, signs of how rushed he was to find Monokuma. "So step up as a headmaster and take responsibility! Just do _something_ about this. "

It was weird how Ouma depended on Monokuma of all things for help. _Was he that desperate?_ She dismissed the thought. There was no way this heartless man-child would care.

"Geez. What's with you kids and your terrible incapability of even taking care of yourself! I gotta do aaaaaall the work because of y'all. Thisisgoingsooffscriptwhatevenisthisanymore......" Monokuma began to break off and his complaints soon became inaudible grunts.

Monokuma strapped Saihara onto his back before announcing, "his wounds seem too serious so _TOO BAD_ he can't join the class trial. Sucks to be you! Deal with the trial yourself! Without him!"

With that, he left, the mechanical gears of the bear clearing groaning at the weight of the boy as he was dragged off. And all the two could do was watch.

 

...

 

...

 

"Why did you do that?" Harukawa's words cut through the thick tension in the air, words straightforward and clear.

"Would you rather he die? Honestly, we should be asking what to do now rather than lamenting the past."

"I didn't mean it like tha-"

"What were you guys even _doing_ when I was gone," Ouma took in a exaggerated gasp. "Don't tell me you were trying to kissy the princess awakey!"

"When we beat this killing game I will personally execute you."

"Nishishi~ though I'm being serious you're not allowed to kiss Saihara-chan! I'm pretty possessive!" Harukawa rolled her eyes at the boys remarks. It was probably a lie to throw her off anyways.

"So? What were you doing when I was gone?"

* * *

 

_"Well, according to Saihara, the first and second killings are done by the same person."_

Harukawa stated clearly to the rest of her classmates. The trial in session and her voice resounding clearly though the room. Only to receive a resounding laughter from Shinguchi, stating statements like which barely deflected off the main evidence presented to them but placed an even higher level of suspicion on himself. It was set in stone at this point. Nothing he could have said would have been remotely effective anyways.

The trial ended, taking longer than usual, which was to be expected and without the huge hint presented by Saihara, who knows how much longer they would have had to stay in there... The group had the attention span of an ant, unable to keep the conversation flowing before diverting somewhere else.

Harukawa had no idea how Saihara dealt with that all the this time. _Speaking of which..._

"We should go visit Saihara together," Harukawa suggested, mainly glaring at Monokuma who only seemed to be sweating up a storm.

"H-he's not even awake yet!" By the way Monokuma stuttered, not helping his case in any shape or form.

"So WHAT?"  
"We can still visit him right? Aren't we allowed to be remotely worried?"  
"It's not like I care but I can tag along anyways."  
"I agree! My inner voice is telling me that visting him would be best."

"He doesn't _need_ to be awake... We just want to visit," was the general consensus that almost everyone gave. Yumeno being the exception as she just wanted to go back to her room, which was understandable, seeing how she had lost two close friends in the same day and had been accused repeatedly for their deaths. Nevertheless, she passed well wishes to his recovery before leaving.

It was clear that eveyone cared for Saihara,  to some extent, he was a generally nice person afterall. And as the saying goes, what cones around goes back around.

 **"Fine!** But if he acts all weird don't blame the bear." He complained before marching off towards a new building, leading the rest to it. Were they really going to trust Monokuma to not lead them to death? The building was  seemingly built from literally nothing. It was surprising how quickly a hospital ward was constructed. It was suspicious.

_When did Monokuma do all this?_

Perhaps it was already there to begin with... The students couldn't help but be curious though, entering the cool building, walking slowly through the white-washed halls, soaking in the new stimuli that the rooms brought. It was almost like an excursion, lead by the monochrome bear.

As the one dorm door was opened, it revealed a very much awake individual. Monokuma had either lied or he had woke up within the short span of that travel.

The boy sat upright in bed, looking out of the window, overlooking the great main school building. The light-blue gown almost made the pale skin boy fade away into the chalky walls. One by one, the students of the academy of gifted juveniles began to stream in, unable to keep the noise and chatter to themselves. They all greeted Saihara, expecting a reply for sorts. But it was almost as if he was deliberately ignoring everyone's calls of his name. Only when the calling of the name noise rose to unbearable volumes did it finally catching his attention.

As he turned his head, the room finally fell silent as his gaze suffocated the lively atmosphere moments before. His eyes were judgemental, cold and nothing like anyone had seen before, especially on a guy like himself. But he wore a smile, a gentle smile, one that coaxed everyone that everything was the same and everything was under control.

Everyone's excitement seemed to have been died as soon as words spilled from the other's lips.

_"Who is 'Shuuichi Saihara'?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is done under the assumption that Saihaha's real pregame name is not Saihaha sushi. 
> 
> I have commitment issues. And I accidentally deleted my other fic when I tried to edit it. I'M TRAUMATIZED. I am also drunk I might delete this when I wake. REALLY DEPENDS ON MY MOOD TBH. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!!! :D


	2. To the way it should be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note I dislike Tsumugi idk why i wrote her....

This wasn't how she had written him to be.

Shuuichi Saihara:  
A weak, timid and submissive boy. After encouragement from his peers, he finds his own voice while retaining his personality. His character arc is important to stand up against the mastermind in the last showdown.

It was a collective agreement by team Danganronpa that this was the final cut to his character. A relatable character that, through hope and encouragement, becomes a better person. The same hope that viewers could be fueled by and support. The fictional character that would be fit to be the 'protagonist'.

Yet here was the shinning star of the show, soiling the traits assigned, destroying the hard work they had placed into and _different_.

_"Who is 'Shuuichi Saihara'?"_

This wasn't how it was written to be at all.

Shirogane held her frustrations. _Did the team decide to make a last minute change? There was no way the script could change on its_ _own. The flashback lights are meant to create perfect scenerios of what was on paper. So what went wrong?_

"Um... Saihara what do you mean? You are an Ultimate like all of us!" Testing the waters, she spoke up, it wasn't like the rest were willing to anyways...

"An Ultimate? I see..."

 _Was in despair?_ _Scared?_ That couldn't be possible... Not someone like him. Shirogane never forgot... Audition number #⬜□⬛■. The passion and the disregard for life, it was more than dedicated, it was borderline suicidal. Behind the judging pannel she stared at the to-be cast, the interviews are important in establishing what despair could be brought out later.

"■□⬛■ shows a strong clash with 'Shuuichi Saihara's in-game character", she noted down on the list. It'll make it a contrast the audience would never forget.

Imagining the hope that could be brought from this despair or would despair win this season? It was going to be perfect. _Was._

Suppression of the laugh, shivering, staggered, breathy laughter. It wasn't despair or even fear, it was unrivalled pure joy. Like a metronome at it's fastest speed, in quick bursts before gasps of air were inhaled in, sharp rises of the chest making it look like his lungs would puncture any second. Mouth opened, drooling at the prospect of his situation.

The rest recoiled at the sight. Unpleasant. That was the best way to describe it... Everyone held their visible concerns for the figure they thought to be 'Shuuichi Saihara'... Everyone but Shirogane, all too fimilar with this laughter. If the killing games existance said anything, humanity had truely fallen into insanity, it was a common sight by now. Watching it behind the comfort of the glass screen it kept her safe. But here, it was unnerving... Why? She was the mastermind right? What was there to fear? The script keeps her safe. Even if it was all fiction, she would dedicate herself to the end.

_Right?_

She shook herself out of her trance.

"Tell me! What talents do I have? Am I the blackened? Why can't I remember anything! Has everyone already gotten their talents? Why are we in the 36th hospital faciltiy? Is Rantaro still here? I-"  Saihara winced, his fresh wound still throbbing at the front of his head, cutting off his little spew.

The overstimulation must have finally got to the boy.

"Stop talking. You just woke up, you idiot." There was concern in Momota's voice, even through all that he still trusted Saihara. Blind faith was in his character after all...

"Despair disease," Monokuma spoke up. "Ahem. One of the students has caught the despair disease!"

 _Ah so there was a mistake... So this is what their planning to roll with? What a slip shot cover up._ Shirogane thought wincing slightly at the sight at... that thing's excitement. A true fan at heart she supposed, nevertheless it was still gross how he was muttering under his damp, warm breath.

"Despair disease? Gonta never heard of such a disease before." Gonta spoke through reasonably. A question everyone else likely had in mind as well.

Monokuma answered systematically, "Well it's a-"

"It's a reaaaally annoying disease where you get a high fever, along with various other symptoms that are full of despair!" Before getting interrupted. "Did I get it right? I remembered the whole script! Haha..."

"Argh! Don't interupt me! Next time you do that, all the participants will be killed under my paws! You got that?" Monokuma seemed pissed, which translated to the team being pissed. It was clear why though, it was getting increasingly difficult to cover up a fault in the system. He was digging his own grave...

Nonetheless, it shut him up. He seemed more than happy to be getting direct orders, reduced to nothing more than a dog.

Shirogane really didn't want to leave. She wanted to control the situation, fix the mistake quickly to maintain the peace and safety and control and...

Clenched fists, fit with annoyance. She could only silently admit defeat as she left the room after words were thrown left and right about the patient they had visited. She tuned it all out, making it all white noise that faded into the background, concerning herself over more pressing issues.

Supposedly, there were measures that could be taken into place. But how would the audience react?

Breathing out a sigh, night was upon them. The trial did end later than scheduled on paper, likely due to the absence of Saihara. As much as she would liked to settle things personally, it was risky it drew too much attention to do it now. She would have to leave it to Monokuma and hope that the team does take a good course of action, which _sucked_ , improvised ideas were never the ideal... But at this point the script had gone so left-wing. What could be done?

All she could do now was reduce the damage that was created.

"How much do you think Saihara-kun knows about the situation?" Shirogane shot up at the question, finally listening in to the conversation.

"Pooichi did know about the fucking avocado's existance... He even called him by his first name. Do you think they were in _that_ kind of relationship?" Iruma spoken up. Surprisingly, bringing up important points with that dirty mouth of hers.

"Groooosssss! Not everybody is a cum slut like you!" Ouma insulted her, whilst  crying up. "My beloved... didn't even remember... US!" He cried harder and louder.

"Stop crying it's fake and annoying." Harukawa cut through, wearing a deadpanned expression.

"Aw... you don't let me have my fun." Ouma pouted.

"I can't believe he _chose_ to forget us but remember Amami! Do we mean nothing to him?" Visibly upset, Momota spoke up.

"I don't think that's how amnesia works... You don't _choose_ to forget information." Harukawa sighed, obviously annoyed.

"Gonta thinks Saihara-kun's behavior was different..."

"Yeah, no shit bug boy, everyone could fucking see that. He was drooling and soooo turned on, likely by my presence. Being a virgin sure can be overwhelming."

"Iruma please close your mouth and not open it for a while..." Kiibo had said, probably without the intention of sounding crass or rude. "It is true though that his behavior had gone through drastic changes... Perhaps he was scared or maybe confused? At least that's what my inner voice is generally saying..."

 _Is that how the audience sees it..._ _Actions brought on by fear and confusion?_

"Haha! But robots aren't supposed to be able to read human emotions!" Ouma laughed at the robot. While like an automatic response, the other shot back remarks of how that was 'Robophobic'.

"Nevertheless, can't we just ask him tomorrow? Besides, Monokuma did say something about a disease... His altered memories could be because of that? I'm plain so I wouldn't know..."Shirogane gave a voice of reason, whilst keeping in character.

"It's getting late anyways, Shirogane-san is right. We should stop worrying and just turn in for the night. Worrying does nothin'! We should trust Saihara to be a man and pull through." Momota suggested, it was a good idea. A way to break discussion but also to get a breather on the scenerio.

Shirogane could only inwardly thank herself and the way she decided to write his character. A character who cared for everyone's well-being openly.

Thus the group broke, having little to no free time before night fell, they returned to their dorm rooms.

* * *

  
Watching them leave individually, one by one streaming out, until only the monochrome bear remained.

"What a mess! You seriously messed things up... How are we even supposed to roll on with this- stop laughing."

"Sorry."

"Just take this flashback light and just shine it on yourself. Things should revert afterwards." The voice changed from to a more mellowed out one, inidcation that the official Danganronpa team itself was communicating directly.

"Aw... Already?" He pouted slightly, "I was just having some fun..." He knew he was meant to be erased, if it was by the hands and for the sake of the series he loved so much, the child was ready to put their life on the ropes. Snuffing out their life and future.

The light contained all the information that pertains to the character "Shuuichi Saihara", what he would say if anyone asked what happened, the trials before and importantly the ability to 'wipe it all away'. So when the switched was flickered on, things are meant to go back to the way it was. Introduce a motive, carry the narrative. Standard and a safe rinse and repeat sequence that nobody got tired off.

Things are meant to go back to the way was. The team took a mental note to inform Tsumugi Shirogane of the discrepancies, things could go back as planned.

With a flash of a light, with memories being plugged into this body that Danganronpa owned.

"Was the light supposed to do something?"

"..."

"I'm still here."

~~_Everything was in control._ ~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I give up on this fic. I love my ideas I hate my writing rip. But I want to write the mystery part but idk mannn. :/ I started this drunk and idk how to write pregame saihaha (you guys were so hung up with my nickname for him lmao)
> 
> Btw if you came for a healthy Saiouma fic you are going to be disappointed. ;D stay tune for that next time I freaking update.
> 
> !!! If there is any other people you would like to see their POV of please tell me! Ouma POV is featured in the next chapter (whenever that is~)


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